Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
