Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise