I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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