he was CRYING into my vagina
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
