We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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