Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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