he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
