it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
