theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
