He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
