I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
