For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
