That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am puke
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
