I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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