apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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