should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i came on her dog
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
