It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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