Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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