gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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