I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
