i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
