Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
