everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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