i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
