I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize