Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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