Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
