dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize