Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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