Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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