my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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