This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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