She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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