just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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