I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
