Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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