I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize