sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
