The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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