Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
