What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
