I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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