***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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