Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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