omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm like, not good at living.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
