my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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