I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize