at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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