I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
