The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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