I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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