dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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