Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
