The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
