I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
