I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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