So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
