So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
