I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
