that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
