I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
