Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
