like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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