you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
