Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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