Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize