She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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